Have you ever watched the show Myth Busters?
It’s kind of cool. They take a topic like mixing soda & pop rocks & break down if the myth surrounding it is true or false.
I wish the show also covered myths that people have about life circumstances. Especially when it comes to grief & loss.
For most of our lives we’ve heard some of the same things surrounding grief & coping. Over & over we’ve heard it to the point that we begin to find truth in what people say.
What if I told you that a lot of those statements are false? They’re myths that can actually hurt you.
When you go into something thinking that you already know the end result, you will often fail at whatever it is.
I truly don’t want that for YOU. I’ve lived that life. Thinking I knew how to handle a situation or listening to those “elders”. Turns out I just further dug myself into a hole.
So, let’s debunk 12 grief myths together.
Once Your Done Grieving You’re Over It
So wrong. Grief never truly goes away. You learn to cope with it & grow with it. Creating what I like to call, your new normal.
Time Heals All Wounds
You adjust over time. Learning to live with the new normal. But the wounds still remain.
I love the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, “with a new day comes new strength & new thoughts”. It’s a constant reminder that you can get stronger in your coping everyday.
There’s A Specific Timeline For Grief
This one irritates me the most. There is no set time for you to be over grief!
There’s no set day that you need to cry. Some people may never cry, some people may never get angry.
That’s okay. Each grieving experience is unique to YOU. Don’t let someone else tell you to “be over it already.”
You Can Completely Get Over Loosing Someone
No, just no. The love that we feel for someone or even our pets will always be with us.
If You’re Still Crying Over Your Loss Then You’ve Never Coped
False. That’s like suggesting that if you like pie you’re a horrible person.
It’s ridiculous. Our emotions & connections make use who we are.
20 years later I still cry over my mother. Especially when watching her favorite movie.
But when it’s over, I just feel connected to her. I understand that she’s gone, I’m not depressed over it but I do still miss her.
Death Is The Only Thing You Can Grieve
Grief is not limited to death. You also grieve over:
- Loss of a job
- A breakup
- Leaving your home
And so much more. Don’t limit what YOU go through & what YOU feel to other people’s opinions.
Friends & Family Are The Best Support System
Sometimes, yes, our friends & family members do give great support. Other times they just make it worse.
It’s okay if you find it easier to have support from someone who isn’t as close to you or to the situation.
There may be times when it’s easier for you to voice your feelings to a complete stranger at the library. And what you may find is that they can offer you a different form of support or outlook as they are truly on the outside & looking in.
Children Don’t Need To Know About Death
Death is a fact of life.
Introducing your child to it & teaching them the life skills to be able to understand it & cope with it is something that every child needs to know.
Grief Is Easier When You Know Death Is Coming
Just because you know something is coming doesn’t make it easier.
Hurricane Michael just recently hit NC. We knew it was coming but that didn’t make loosing power for a week any easier.
Keeping A Journal Helps Everybody
I’ve actually written several posts on the site dedicated to grief journals & their benefits.
However, it’s not for everyone. I firmly believe that.
Yes, journaling can be great a great way for you to cope with your grief. But, not everybody can expresse themselves through journaling or music or even art. There are other creative coping outlets that you can use.
Therapy Always Helps You Get Over It
Nope. Don’t get me wrong, therapy isn’t bad. I’m not telling you to not go to therapy. What I’m saying about this myth is you may not get over your grief.
Therapy will give you coping skills & help you get some stuff out. But on the flip side, those skills may not work for you.
Being Alone After Losing Someone Means You’re Depressed
It’s okay to be alone!!! You don’t have to constantly surround yourself in people.
Even without grieving, you should dedicate time to yourself.
Being alone can actually help with your peace of mind, your focus, & help you rest.
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